I was writing in my journal this morning having my coffee when it occurred to me that I have everything that I have ever wanted out of life. Life is not perfect. I don’t have the fancy car, but I have a car that gets me from point A to point B and I can afford the gas to put into it. I have an apartment where I receive housing assistance where I get free cable. I have a computer that works that I can take different places. I can afford yarn to make prayer shawls and Afghans. I have money for food and basic necessities of life. I feel I am truly blessed.
I don’t have a lot of things that people have, but I have decided to focus on the things that I do have and be grateful that I have them. I find by doing that I am a lot happier than if I focused on the things that I don’t have. I have seen people who focus just on things and having the material things of life and how miserable they are because no amount of money or things will fill up that hole in their soul.
I have learned since I have been in Abilene that it is more important to be of service to those less fortunate than I am. There is always someone worse off than I am and even if I cannot help them monetarily, I can be there cheering them on. Sometimes that is what they need the most.
There is a spiritual side of recovery that includes things like gratitude, being of service to others, and giving of oneself. For so many years I wanted to be the top dog and the center of attention. I had to learn to allow others to shine and be supportive of others’ gifts and talents and not focused just on me and what I was going to get out of it.
Life is not perfect. All this talk about spirituality does not mean that there will not be problems, but that I will be able to deal with them in calm and sensible manner. I don’t have as many melt-downs like I use to. That doesn’t mean that I won’t have one when I go out to start my car and it doesn’t start. It just means that I have tools now to use when faced with a crisis and I have people I can call that will help me out. I just need to keep a cool head and try to think my way through a situation instead of reacting emotionally.
It has taken me many years to develop this manner of dealing with life. I know that this too shall pass. This gets me through many overwhelming problems. Life will not be like this all the time. Each episode that I overcome I get stronger and stronger. Life is all about choices and how I choose to react to them.